Blah Blah Blah… COUGH! COUCH! HACKkkk! Spittttttt ……
Im sorry. That’s me hacking up the censorship that I imposed on mySELF ~ for the last YEAR.
UPDATE:
I got married. And we’re trying to conceive a child.
….
If you scroll down this blog wall, you’ll find my posts about WHY I’LL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN.
And ceremonies I conducted to MARRY MYSELF.
I still resonate with that person.
But last year~ when I met the man I was going to marry. And realized we’d have a baby.
I thought that person had to DIE.
So!
I tore off my RED dress. Put a mommy name tag on my chest. Stopped my feminine activism and devoted myself to my partnership.
<< FYI, there is nothing wrong with choosing Mommy-Town. We’re ALLOWED to be one side of the pendulum one day— and the complete other side the next. >>
BUT!
Last month I had the dramatic realization that my WILD OUTSPOKEN SIDE won’t die with motherhood….
WHAT???…..!
Some days I’ll be the calm, stable, mommy I want to be.
And other days….
RED!
RED! RED!
RED
MOMMY!
ROARing!!!!
as the RAVENOUS RED feminine.
Painted in my menstrual blood.
Howling at the moon.
Wearing my Kinky Gear.
Off on the ROAD TRIP to anywhere.
And brainstorming activism TO SHAKE THIS WORLD UP!
~~~
Thankfully, the feminist movement I’m a part of has done a lot of work to support moms to be ALL OF IT!
But…it’s a lot harder to be “all of it” when I’m married with a child.
Because Red makes people uncomfortable,
I FEAR~
– Not being accommodating.
– Messing up my marriage.
– Messing up my child.
so…
<< CENSORSHIP >>
…….
(( Scratching my head ))
:-/
There’s a lot more to say here.
Motherhood is going to be a GROWTH journey.
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