As I sit in bed I am contemplating my life. Where am I? Who am I? What led me here? But nothing is coming. Do I need to be amongst the trees and the birds and the bees? I can’t easily get there as I have an injury to my foot. I got 5 stitches yesterday and was able to hobble to the bathroom and the kitchen to do my daily morning routine. But now I have a deep cock sexual urge.

As my cock fills with blood pulsating and energetically pushing out towards the ether. What does it need? What does it desire? Maybe to be witnessed and worshiped? Or maybe to connect with another in the deepest form of intimacy. The merger and alchemical process of two souls dancing amongst the sun and moon and witnessed by the stars.

Now the blood flows back to my heart bringing joy and a smile. I just danced with my sexual current. Oh the beautiful dance it was. So filled with happiness.

Oh no wait blood is flowing once more down to my cock. A primal urge this time is taking over. Starting to feel agitated and angry. Such unstartilating angst. I must release this but how? Masterbation is only a quick fix with no long term benefit. I can just be with it and send hearts love of compassion and warmth. The cock bows and lets the energy go. Have I dodged a bullet? Or will it return shortly? I now feel safe and warm inside. Like the sun shining after a hard winters eve. I feel blessed to be alive.

I now have an urge to share this great and powerful transformative energy. But how and with whom? My heart fills with joy of one name, a smile ear to ear. It is my best friend and wife Aurora. In play and in joy lets dance this energy and transform the pains of ourselves and the world. Now the flow has stopped in my body, mind, and spirit. Where did it go? Was this energy only for me? Or only the one Aurora and me? Not for the world? Wait nothing can be delved deeper into. A sadness is overwhelming me. What is this? Why is this here? Sucking and draining me. How do I fix this or stop this? I don’t know. I will just be with it and explore it as I dive into the shadow head first! I am a conqueror and I will be back.

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