Being a protector means balancing the trifecta of safeguarding my partner, shielding myself from her, and protecting my own well-being. It’s a journey of strength and vulnerability, where the greatest challenge is learning when to protect and when to trust that we can protect each other.

~ Adam

As a man, I’ve always seen myself as a guardian, protector, and provider. These roles are deeply ingrained in my identity, and they give me a sense of purpose. Protecting those I love, especially my partner, makes me feel strong and fulfilled. But this role is not without its challenges. There are moments when the lines blur, and I find myself struggling with the delicate balance between protecting my partner, protecting myself from her, and simply protecting myself.

When I protect my partner, I feel empowered. There’s a primal satisfaction in knowing that I am keeping her safe, that I am standing between her and any harm that might come her way. This feeling of purpose is incredibly grounding. It reinforces my commitment to our relationship and strengthens the bond between us. In those moments, I am not just a man—I am her protector, her shield, and it feels right.

However, the reality of relationships is that they aren’t always so straightforward. There are times when I find myself needing to protect myself from her. This could be from harsh words, actions that cut deep, or moments when our differences create a chasm between us. In these situations, the role of protector becomes complicated. Protecting myself from her brings a sense of discomfort and pain. It feels unnatural, like I’m betraying the very essence of what it means to be a guardian. Instead of feeling empowered, I feel conflicted, as if I’m caught between two opposing forces within myself.

When I choose to protect myself, I feel an immediate sense of distance between us. There’s a longing that takes hold—a yearning to return to that place where I am protecting her, where I feel close to her. But in protecting myself, I also recognize a necessary boundary. It’s a survival instinct, a way to preserve my own well-being. Yet, this act of self-protection often leaves me feeling isolated. I miss the connection, the trust, and the closeness that comes with being in sync with my partner.

The most painful part, however, is when my partner resists being protected by me. When she pushes away my attempts to care for her, I feel a profound sense of rejection. It’s as if my purpose, my very role in the relationship, is being questioned. Without that mutual trust and respect, I feel adrift. It’s in these moments that I start to withdraw, not because I want to, but because the pain of rejection and the ensuing depression make it difficult to stay engaged. The distance grows, and with it, the loneliness.

Navigating these roles—protector of my partner, protector of myself from her, and protector of just myself—is an ongoing challenge. Each path comes with its own set of emotions, and none of them are easy. But they are all part of the journey of being a man in a relationship, of being a guardian, protector, and provider. It’s a role that requires strength, but also vulnerability. And it’s in that vulnerability that I find the greatest challenges, but also the potential for growth and deeper connection.

In the end, it’s about finding balance—learning when to step forward and when to step back, when to protect and when to trust that we can protect each other. It’s a dance, sometimes graceful, sometimes clumsy, but always meaningful. And as I continue to navigate this path, I hold onto the hope that with each step, we grow closer to understanding and supporting each other in the ways we both need.

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I am love, an unconfined, dynamic energy that weaves through every connection, embracing the infinite possibilities of human relationships.

~ Love

When I reflect on the different types of love I’ve experienced and witnessed, it feels like exploring a rich tapestry woven with threads of varied hues and textures. Each type of love carries its unique essence, contributing to the fullness of life and the growth of the soul.

Self-Love: Self-love is the foundation upon which all other forms of love are built. It’s the compassionate acceptance and appreciation of who I am, with all my strengths and flaws. This type of love involves nurturing my own well-being, setting healthy boundaries, and making choices that honor my true self. It’s about forgiving myself for past mistakes and celebrating my achievements. Self-love means prioritizing my mental, emotional, and physical health, and understanding that my worth is inherent, not dependent on external validation. When I truly love myself, I can approach the world with confidence and resilience, offering genuine love to others from a place of wholeness.

Platonic Love: Platonic love is the deep, non-romantic connection I share with friends. It’s characterized by mutual respect, trust, and a sense of companionship. This type of love is about supporting and uplifting each other without any expectation of romantic involvement. It’s the joy of shared experiences, the comfort of knowing someone has my back, and the ease of being my true self without fear of judgment. Platonic love enriches my life with laughter, shared memories, and a sense of belonging. It’s the type of love that reminds me that connections don’t need to be romantic to be profound and fulfilling. It provides a stable foundation of support and understanding, enriching my emotional landscape with genuine bonds of friendship.

Divine Love: Divine love is the transcendent love I feel towards a higher power, the universe, or a spiritual essence. It’s a connection that goes beyond the physical realm, touching the core of my soul. This love brings a sense of peace, purpose, and belonging that is not tied to any earthly circumstances. It’s the feeling of being part of something greater, a source of infinite love and compassion that is always available to me. Divine love guides me through life’s challenges, offering comfort and wisdom. It encourages me to live with kindness, humility, and a sense of interconnectedness with all beings. This type of love transcends the ego, fostering a deep sense of unity and oneness with the universe. It inspires me to live with grace, understanding, and an open heart, knowing that I am always held in the embrace of a higher love.

Guardian Love: Whether it’s towards a child or another adult, this love embodies the role of a nurturer and wisdom guide. It’s about stewarding another soul, sharing wisdom, and providing a safe, nurturing space. This love is marked by a deep sense of responsibility and care, ensuring that the other person feels supported and protected as they grow and learn.

Physical Love: This love is more than mere attraction or lust; it’s a profound magnetism between bodies that is unexplainable yet unwavering. It ignites a deep sense of joy, love, and creativity within me. Intimacy and touch flow effortlessly, as natural as water. This type of love lights up my entire being, filling me with an uncontainable zest for life and deep connection.

Soul Contract Love: This love exists within the boundaries of a mutual agreement, lasting as long as the contract remains in place. Whether the contract is fulfilled or broken, the spark of this love is ignited at the start and extinguished at the end. It’s a love with a defined purpose and time frame, open at the beginning and closed at its conclusion.

Growth Soul Love: This type of love is an exhilarating journey where both partners engage in a beautiful grind, pushing each other toward their true wholeness. It’s the attraction of opposites, not merely for the sake of being different, but because these differences spur profound growth. It’s about opposite perceptions that guide us to our true paths, helping us embrace our soul’s truth and love. In this relationship, we challenge and inspire each other to become the best versions of ourselves, growing together in a harmonious dance.

Familiar Soul Love: This is the love where everything seems to exist in the unseen and unspoken realms. We understand each other fully without needing words. Our choices and decisions align seamlessly, as if we are reading each other’s minds. It’s like a symphony, perfectly synchronized, where even our spontaneous actions match uncannily. This love is pure and effortless, a dance of souls who have known each other across lifetimes.

Alchemical Love: This is the profound, transformative love that merges two souls to birth a new one. It’s the creation of a child, a living embodiment of the union between two people. This type of love is a powerful blend of physical, emotional, and spiritual connections, resulting in the miraculous birth of a new soul. It represents the ultimate act of creation and the merging of two lives to give life to another.

Unconditional Love: This type of love is boundless and unwavering, existing without conditions or chains. It’s pure and steadfast, impossible to shake or break. It feels like two stars dancing in the sky, a pure energy that transcends the physical and earthly realms. This love just exists and expresses itself naturally, beyond comprehension, embracing everything and everyone in its expansive embrace.

Love is a vast and dynamic force that can take on many forms, often blending and evolving over time. It’s not confined to neat categories or strict definitions. The love I feel towards another person can be a unique combination of self-love, platonic love, and divine love, along with any of the other types.

For instance, a romantic relationship might start with a deep physical attraction and grow into a growth soul love, where both partners challenge each other to become their best selves. Over time, this relationship might also encompass familiar soul love, where we understand each other without words, and guardian love, where we nurture and support each other’s growth. Similarly, a friendship can blend platonic love with elements of divine love, creating a bond that feels both grounded and transcendent.

Moreover, the way love manifests can change as the relationship evolves. What starts as a soul contract love might transition into unconditional love, or a relationship initially based on physical attraction might deepen into a profound spiritual connection. Love is fluid, expanding beyond the confines of defined categories or contracting into a singular, powerful essence.

Ultimately, love is as varied and multifaceted as the individuals who experience it. It defies strict boundaries and can be a beautiful, ever-changing blend of multiple types, reflecting the unique nature of each connection.

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An old chameleon looks up at a bush.
He decides to climb it.

As he climbs the bush he meets a caterpillar
The caterpillar is SCARED!
He is supposed to become a butterfly,
but to become a butterfly he has to go into a cocoon.
And the cocoon is dark!
It is lonely.
What if it hurts to become a butterfly?
He doesn’t want to do it!

The old chameleon says…
If you don’t you don’t go in your cocoon you’ll never become a butterfly.
Doing something scary to become something new will be challenging! And you can do it.

The old chameleon leaves and continues to climb.
And then he meets a spider.

The spider is MAD!
Every day he builds his web, and every day it gets destroyed!
Then he has to rebuild it all over again.
He doesn’t want to do it anymore!

The old chameleon says…
If you don’t build your web,
you wont catch any food or have a place to sleep.
Make building your web a normal part of your day!
And enjoy the process.

The old chameleon leaves and continues to climb.
And he meets a honey bee.

The honeybee is SAD.
Every day he collects pollen to make honey for his hive.
But a human keeps eating the honey!
And he doesn’t want to collect pollen anymore.

The old chameleon says…
If you don’t collect pollen to make honey for your hive,
your bee family won’t have any food.
Focus on feeding your bee family,
And just accept that this human eats some of it.

Then old chameleon climbs to the top the bush and he accidentally rests on a flower

He then changes Colors

~~~~
Dearest Atreyu,
The Moral of this story is that life can be hard. Things happen that are out of our control.
We need to accept them and surrender to them. Finding gratitude and being brave.

Maybe… we can even “turn lemons into lemonade.” By accepting what we cannot control, we can make the process as enjoyable as possible.

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In the abyss of solitude, I found myself enveloped by the darkness of despair, suffocating beneath the weight of abandonment. Yet, amidst the echoes of loneliness, I discovered a resilience born from the depths of my own solitude, a glimmer of light guiding me through the shadows.

~ Myself

Alone in the abyss of solitude, your absence reverberated like thunder in a vacant sky. As I traversed the desolate landscape, I found myself trapped in a relentless cycle of investigation, interrogation, and pressure, pushed to the brink of my endurance. Yet, amidst the turmoil, you were nowhere to be found—no support, no solace, just the haunting echo of your absence.

I faced the onslaught of legal battles, the weight of a federal lawsuit bearing down upon me, threatening to crush the very foundation of my existence. My livelihood crumbled beneath the weight of scrutiny, and the walls of our once-beloved home seemed to close in, suffocating me in their oppressive embrace. Forced to relinquish the sanctuary we had built, I watched as our dreams turned to dust, scattered by the winds of misfortune.

Alone and abandoned, I stood at the precipice of despair, grappling with the devastation wrought by forces beyond my control. With each passing day, the burden grew heavier, the shadows darker, and you, oblivious to the tempest raging within, remained distant and detached, consumed by your own world.

In the wake of chaos, I was left to pick up the shattered fragments of our shattered life, piecing together a semblance of normalcy amidst the ruins. Yet, as the dust settled and the scars of battle began to fade, I realized that our union had become nothing more than a distant memory—a casualty of neglect, of abandonment, of a love that withered and died amidst the storm.

Forced to confront the harsh reality of our fractured bond, we walked separate paths, our hearts heavy with the weight of what once was. As I reflect on the trials endured and the battles fought, I can’t help but acknowledge the bittersweet truth: in losing you, I found myself—alone, yet resilient, broken, yet unbroken, forged in the crucible of solitude, a survivor of the storm that ravaged our once-shared horizon.

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I can hear the Goddess Isis CRYING.
The truth is, she can’t put Osiris back together.

But she wants to.
She wants to wrap him with her golden wings and say her magickal prayers.

That’s how they say she resurrected him.

But the myths were written down wrong.

She did not refashion his Lingam from wax.
Because his shaft is his own,
This is HIS quest and it is hard won.
….

Osiris’ brother Set murdered him,
but Osiris did not die.
He was only lost. His ego shattered.

Isis did do something in that moment.

She spoke to Osiris in the invisible realms.
She sent him courage and reminded him of his strength.

Then Osiris found the missing pieces of his own body. He sewed back together the fractured parts of his soul.

The one magickal thing that Isis did for Osiris ~
was kiss the last missing piece.
His shaft.
She blessed it.

And then Osiris ROSE

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In the dance of desire, we become both the storm and the calm, a force of nature seeking deep connection and transformation. It’s a rhythm where passion meets restraint, an intricate tango of giving and holding back. This energy, both raw and refined, seeks a partner willing to match its fervor. Not everyone can handle its intensity, but those who do become co-authors in a tale of alchemy and boundless connection.

~ Love

There are facets of our being that lurk beneath the surface, waiting for the perfect moment to emerge. One such facet for me has been an intense sexual desire, an almost consuming need to envelop and transform another. Like an alchemist seeking to turn base metals into gold, my desire seeks to create a cocoon of change and deep connection.

Where does this sexual power come from? This question has often echoed in the corridors of my mind. Was it a dormant volcano, lying in wait, or did some event or realization awaken it? It’s tempting to seek external factors, but it feels more innate than that. It’s a raw energy, an elemental force that’s always been a part of me, waiting for its moment in the sun.

Navigating and dancing in this energy is a challenge. It’s a rhythm of passion and restraint, of giving and holding back. It’s like a tango where I am both the leader and the follower, adjusting my steps according to the ebb and flow of my own desires and the needs of my partner.

But how do I share this powerful energy when it feels like most can’t handle its intensity? Like the sun, my desire can be blinding if one gazes too directly at it. The truth is, not everyone will be equipped or willing to dance this dance with me. It requires vulnerability, trust, and an open heart, both from myself and my partner.

Yet, my desire is not about craving or possessing. It’s about sharing, connecting, and sparking an energy that can set the world aflame. Even if it’s too intense for some, the right partners will recognize and match my energy. They will be the ones willing to embark on this transformative journey with me.

In conclusion, my extreme sexual desire is a force to be reckoned with, an energy that seeks connection and transformation. While it’s not always easy to find the right dance partner, I trust that the universe will bring those individuals into my life who can handle, appreciate, and reciprocate the intensity and beauty of my passion.

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In the tapestry of love, fractal timelines of choice are not mere detours but revelations. They unveil paths untraveled, desires unexplored, and lessons waiting to be learned. While they may tantalize with possibilities, they ultimately guide us towards deeper self-awareness and understanding. Such timelines, though complex, remind us of the intricate dance of choices and emotions that define our journey. In their embrace, we find growth, reflection, and an appreciation for the myriad choices that shape our destiny.

~ Love

In my journey of love, I’ve always associated it closely with union. Yet, there have been moments where my heart felt deeply for another, catching me off guard. Suddenly, I found myself gazing at an alternative path, a different timeline from the one I knew. It felt like an alluring mirage, hinting at an entirely different world.

It seemed as though an unseen timeline had come to light, urging me to consider another choice, another path in life. With this new possibility, hopes and dreams surged within me, and love blossomed with renewed energy.

However, reality has its way of complicating matters. When third parties come into play, individuals with their own set of choices and desires, things get intricate. And when their choices didn’t align with mine, the ensuing pain and heartache from rejection or differing intentions felt overwhelming.

The sting of this pain is perplexing, especially when I find myself content in my current timeline. The heartache feels all the more intense because it raises questions about what might have been. Why, when things seem to be going so well, does the universe dangle another possibility in front of me? Opening up to this pain, I feel a mix of vulnerability and confusion. It’s like being shown a door to another world when I’m already content in my own. The very act of seeing another path, another choice, disrupts the equilibrium of my heart, making me question the solidity and completeness of my present life.

But, I’ve often wondered, why do these alternate “fractal timelines of choice” even present themselves? Are they mere illusions or do they hold some deeper meaning?

For me, these timelines became a mirror for introspection. While they seemed to revolve around romantic love, they were truly about self-awareness, growth, and understanding.

Here’s what I gleaned from these experiences:

1. Self-awareness: My feelings for another, outside of my union, held a mirror to my desires and insecurities, prompting deeper self-reflection.
2. Embracing Complexity: Life isn’t straightforward. By acknowledging these timelines, I realized the intricate nature of human emotions and relationships.
3. Appreciating Choice: Every person has their own power of choice. And sometimes, those choices clash with mine. I learned to respect others’ decisions, even if they brought me pain.

In wrapping up, these fractal timelines of choice, while initially perplexing, became moments of profound self-growth for me. They reminded me of the delicate weave of choices, desires, and intentions that shape our lives. Regardless of whether the path is traveled or left unexplored, there’s always learning and growth waiting at every turn. Ultimately, it’s the individual’s act of choosing, and their commitment to that choice, that holds true significance. Our journeys may be filled with myriad possibilities, but it’s our conscious decisions and dedication to those choices that shape our experiences and define our paths.

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In the intricate ballet of love, the warmth of security wraps around us like a comforting blanket on a cold night, grounding and steadfast, while the thrill of freedom is the wind beneath our wings, lifting and exhilarating. When intertwined, these energies create a symphony of emotion — a dance where the depth of trust meets the heights of passion, crafting a harmonious journey of two souls forever in sync.

~ Love

Life has a peculiar way of painting our love stories, drawing them with the countless hues of ever-changing seasons. As I reflect on my journey with her, it’s evident that our love has oscillated between two defining energies: security and freedom. Rather than viewing them as conflicting forces, I’ve come to appreciate them as complementary rhythms. They’ve not only shaped various phases of our relationship but will also continue to do so, ensuring that our love remains in harmonious balance.

My Sanctuary of Love: My feelings for her emanate with an intensity that sometimes seems boundless. To me, love has often been about creating a safe haven. It’s the unwavering shelter I offer amidst the unpredictable storms of life. This isn’t about clutching or binding, but rather crafting a space where both of us can find comfort. This love has brought: Consistency, a Sturdy Foundation, Intimacy that Digs Deep, and a Protective Veil from the World’s Chaos. But it’s not without challenges: I sometimes grapple with Complacency, a Reluctance to Embrace Change, Predictability, a Tendency to Be Overprotective, and occasionally, Losing Myself in Us.

Her Love, Unrestrained: She has an undying zest for freedom that I’ve always admired. It’s the spontaneity of a last-minute road trip, the joy of diving into something new, and the electrifying connection with diverse souls. For her, love is this expansive horizon, endlessly stretching, with every interaction adding a new view through the kaleidoscope of unique rainbow reflections. Embracing her style has meant welcoming: Personal Exploration, an Array of Experiences, Adaptability, and a Celebration of Who She Truly Is. But this path isn’t without its hurdles: We’ve navigated through Feelings of Drift, Moments of Emotional Burnout, Periods of Instability, Times when We’ve Overlooked Our Central Bond, Misunderstandings, and occasional Commitment Quivers.

Our shared love journey, from the carefree days of new union to the grounded realities of life’s commitments, has seen swings between her quest for freedom and my longing for security. It’s been enlightening to understand that neither inclination should overshadow the other; both are beautiful facets of our shared tapestry.

In conclusion, charting our course through love’s vast ocean has been a study in balance. It’s underscored the truth that, in love, our yearnings for security or freedom will shift, molded by our shared experiences, individual growth, and life’s milestones. This dance, this ebb and flow, crafts a love story infused with depth, understanding, and mutual respect.

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In the tapestry of human experience, nestled amidst the threads of fleeting passions and ephemeral engagements, lies a profound, enigmatic connection, so deeply rooted, it seems to echo from the annals of time itself – the eternal soul love. It’s a love untethered by the constraints of physical existence, transcending corporeal boundaries, a celestial dance weaving through lifetimes and cosmos.

It’s an odyssey into the realms of soul contracts, those mystical agreements forged in the silent spaces of existence where souls convene to script their journeys, their intersections, their dances. These contracts are sacred pacts; silent sonnets echoing the will of the cosmos, pathways to healing the very fabric of love.

~ Love

There’s a type of love so deep, it goes beyond our everyday life, a love that doesn’t end with time or distance – I like to call it eternal soul love. It’s the kind of bond that feels stronger and more significant than anything we can touch or see. It exists beyond the here and now, connecting two people in ways words can hardly describe.

Imagine loving someone so much that it’s as if you’ve loved them for lifetimes. Even if you’re not together, or far apart, that love doesn’t fade. It’s like an invisible thread that links your hearts, unbroken and unchanged by life’s changing scenes.

This love isn’t just about romantic moments and shared experiences. It’s about a promise made by the soul, a kind of silent agreement that your hearts made long before you met. This bond brings about healing and growth, touching not just your life, but the very essence of love itself.

In the journey of life, with its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, eternal soul love stands strong. It’s not shaken by challenges or lessened by time. Even when apart, this unique bond shines brightly, a beacon of light in the twists and turns of life.

In the presence of such love, we learn, we grow, and we become something more. It’s as if this special connection has the power to lift us, to heal wounds, and to make love something more significant than a word or a feeling.

In this love, we find something beyond the ordinary, something that goes beyond words and touches the soul. This eternal soul love is a journey, a connection, a bond that shows us the limitless depth and beauty that love can reach.

In the embrace of eternal soul love, we are not just witnesses but active participants in a celestial dance that is scripting the narrative of existence, a silent sonnet echoing through the cosmos, healing and nurturing the very fabric of love in the beyond. In this space, we are not mere mortals; we are echoes of a love eternal, unbound.

~ Love (Adam)

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In the silent symphony of unrequited love, the heart plays a melody only it can hear. It’s a song of hope and longing, echoing in the vast chambers of what could have been. Every beat carries the weight of unspoken words and missed moments. Yet, even in its solitude, such a heart holds a resilient beauty, finding strength in its own persistent rhythm, and cherishing the dance of love, even if danced alone.

~ Love

In the garden of union where flowers of love and admiration should flourish, I find myself nurturing my affections in solitude. A husband and a father, I am enmeshed in a tale of unrequited love that spans a lifetime.

Each act of tenderness, each murmur of esteem, vanishes into the void, unnoticed and untouched by the one I cherish. Amidst our daily shared life, a resonant silence speaks louder than words, highlighting the void of love unreturned.

This is a love that defies the mundane, crossing boundaries into territories where words lose their meaning and deeds barely capture the essence of the soul’s passion. In this intense emotional ballet, my presence often feels solitary, echoing back only my own emotions.

In this dance of emotions, where my feelings stretch out like rainbows on a gloomy day, they find no counterpart to merge with. The warmth I offer meets the cold expanse of indifference, leaving a chill in its wake. The nuances of my affection, which should have painted a shared canvas of mutual admiration, instead become solitary strokes of unacknowledged passion. With every passing day, the gap between hope and reality widens, and the heart learns the poignant tune of loving in solitude, realizing that sometimes the deepest feelings remain the most silent.

I yearn for a connection where my spirit feels seen and mirrored in the gaze of my beloved. Our bond should have been a sanctuary of mutual admiration. Yet, the quiet between us is telling, urging self-reflection and a search for comprehension.

The love I offer stands in contrast to the silence that greets it. The weight of unreciprocated emotions is both a haunting tune and an ever-present drive. Each day acts as a reminder, showcasing the gap of desires unmet and silent hopes.

In this continuous cycle of hope and despair, there exists an unwavering truth: a heart, though burdened by the echoes of love unreturned, remains undeterred in its pursuit of affection.

A sacred commitment now confronts uncharted challenges. The road ahead is foggy, the direction unclear, but the intent remains – to delve into the heart of the unsaid, to navigate the intricate maze of love and longing, and to find a heart that doesn’t just listen, but resonates in return.

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